Parents Back-to-School Wine Guide

It’s September and Local summer officially begins with the exodus of the summer visitors, it’s also time to ship the kids back to school, and shore parents couldn’t be happier and are looking forward to an empty, quiet home. But while the freedom from shuttling kids to and from camp, beach and friend houses may seem sweet, there are challenges that come with the return to academia, like back-to-school supplies, clothes, books and all of the sports paraphernalia, not to mention school paperwork!

By the time each loveable child boards the bus on day one, mom and dad are in desperate need of a glass of wine.

But it’s only the beginning, when they return home, there’s homework, book reports, sports, drama, and the most special of all, the parent-Teacher conference! what’s a parent to do?

Here’s a simple wine guide to a few minor dilemmas you will encounter this school year.

Ahh, homework. Of all homework Math and Chemistry are probably the least fun, after all, it is hard and a lot of us don’t find those disastrous word problems or complex formulas at all easy. It can be frustrating for both you and your darling child. When frustration sets in it’s time to take an educated guess and uncork a beautiful bottle of Educated Guess Merlot. Trust us, it will relieve frustration deliciously.

Yes, we all use Google Maps today, but teachers still insist on learning Geography and knowing where countries are.  Helping your child study for their map quiz is a huge effort, especially when they didn’t mention it’s worth a massive chunk of their final grade. You may not know where it all is, but you know the regions that matter the most: Campo Viejo Rioja Tempranillo, Crianza is a good choice for getting lost in an atlas.

Maybe you have a procrastinator, you know that child who has a paper due tomorrow even though he’s had a month to work on it. It’s time to Grab the chilled L’Ecole No. 41Semillon/Sauvignon Blanc from Washington state that you were saving for ‘Girls Night Out’ and get cracking. This white Bordeaux blend with verbena aromas and gooseberry flavors on a crisp, mineral finish will keep you awake as you reminisce about college all-nighters—not!

Physical Education and team sports can run a parent ragged. “Yes”, you commiserate, “running a timed mile is just the worst.” Stop Julie and her friends gossiping about the cute gym teacher. Get them back on track by reminding them of the importance of Physical Education and grab a sassy School Street Winery Pinot Grigio with zero residual sugar for yourself. It’s definitely not your grandma’s Pinot Grigio and the zero residual sugar saves calories too!

While Julie complains about gym classes, Johnny has at least three sports practice sessions a week and win or lose, you’re always there for support and a bag full of snacks. To help you put on your game face, School Street Winery Zinfandel with spice tones of clove, cinnamon, white pepper and vanilla is the perfect sideline libation.

Ah, the joys of high school romance. Your daughter just met ‘the one’ in Biology last week and he is “super dreamy,” in all odds, by next week the butterflies will fade or “bff”Sophie will swoop in on the  ‘dream boat. Sip on a glass of liquid romance — Liberty School Pinot Noir and be ready to offer comfort to your jilted teen.

With all these teen romances, there will be parties and bff sleepovers with plenty of teen drama. Be ready to grab the Liberty School Cabernet Sauvignon because you’ll need this heavy wine to accompany the meaty gossip your child will spill when you pick her up in the morning.

Then there’s the red flag in any relationship: the phrase, “we need to talk”. It’s definitely going to bring on a headache when you hear those words coming from your child’s teacher. Start pouring a Columbia Valley Syrah like L’Ecole No. 41 Syrah, because you’re going to need this dark, robust and spicy wine to digest that heavy conversation you just had with Mrs. Murphy. Let the wine take you away to another world where Timmy always turns in his homework on time and doesn’t shout obscenities in the classroom. Obviously, you deserve this spicy wine that’s as spicy as Timmy’s vibrant vocabulary. He must have learned it from his father.

Since you just threw dad under the bus, offering him a peace offering of Dad’s Day off Chianti, might soothe his ruffled feathers before tomorrow’s hectic activities begin.


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