Being Grateful While Enraged

By Tracey Hall ~

Sounds crazy right? There are times I’m incredibly grateful that thus far those I love are still healthy and safely secured in their homes. It’s hard to get my head around the reality of “sheltering in place,” but we are in a new, weird reality that really pisses me off!

Like all of you, I try to bring it back to the things that matter and feel the love and warmth from family and friends. “Virtual” love that is- “Zoom” gatherings and “FaceTime” happy hours- being together but not really being together.

For a “people-person” like me, this is torture. I come from a long line of “huggers” and am going through serious withdrawals! That makes me angry! How on Earth did we get here?

The road to self-isolation has been traveled with confusing information, people choosing to ignore advice altogether and super scary statistics. The latest is that we should all be wearing masks when we go anywhere. Why weren’t we told this weeks ago? This, of course, angers me!

But- if this measure saves one life, for that I am grateful. For all the generosity going on right now, like feeding our front line soldiers (the healthcare workers,) I am truly grateful for that! I love how our local restaurants are still serving us as best they can with curbside pickup and deliveries. For all the people at home sewing masks, incredibly humbled by your service.

See what I mean? I’m grateful and angry at the same time! Maybe there’s a word for this: “Grangry? Angrateful?” 

I don’t know, like everyone I just need to vent, then bring it back to center and focus on the good. The sun is shining today and we’re hitting 60 degrees- I’m grateful I can get outside, feel the warmth of the sun and open up the windows. Just wish I could walk on the boardwalk! Oh, nevermind, you see how this works?

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